Sleeping through the night

Right from the beginning I wanted to have a family bed. In the hospital after my c-section the baby slept with me. This meant 2 things, ease of access (I didn't have to get out of bed to tend to my baby) and better sleep (I could feed him in bed and not completely wake up). When I got home it meant that not only would I be getting more sleep, but so would my husband. I never had the sleep deprivation that most parents complain about and I got to form a deep attachment to my child. The only drawback? He was with me about 23.5 hours a day. I got to have a shower when my husband got home from work. This was great, for a while. I assumed that when I was ready we would transition from family to single beds.



What i didn't know was how many people would have an opinion on how, when and where my baby should sleep. Let him cry it out they said, it has to be done. Have you ever tried letting a child, your child, cry it out? If you have then you know how difficult a prospect this is. A nurse practitioner described it to me as making withdrawal from the bank of love you have established with your child. That is probably the nicest description I have heard. We tried letting him cry it out. The first time we tried I gave up after 75 minutes. The next time, after 2 hours of crying he fell asleep...success I whispered to my husband...and 15 minutes later crying again.

That's when the books started. The first book I was advised to purchase was "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". The send book I got was "the no-cry sleep solution." After spending some time with my mother-in-law, I received "Good Night, Sleep Tight". Any one of these books probably could have worked, but if there is one thing I have learned from Life with Bobby its that every baby is different and you have to do what is right for your baby. Bobby now sleeps on his own for as long as 12 hours a night. Its not perfect. He still wakes up sometimes and we bring him into the family bed. Does this disturb our sleep? Of course, but we all sleep better together than we do when one of us is screaming.

I am grateful to have so many mothers in my life who care enough to give me valuable child rearing advice, but we have found our own rhythm and its just fine with me. Remember, when your baby is born he or she has never been alone. You have shared your body with him / her for the last 40 weeks, or so. I believe both mother and child benefit from the close bonding that can be achieved with the family bed. I listened to what my baby was telling me and it worked for me. Do what you feel comfortable doing and, as long as you love your child, it will be the right thing to do.